Is It All a Bunch of Fluff?

There are many common sayings and phrases that have great significance and meaning. Unfortunately, they have lost their original intent; they have become vain sayings that are unproductive and empty. Many people find themselves feeling just that: empty and unfulfilled.

When we take a look at our society, it has totally molded and shaped the culture we live in. We have been deceived into believing that “quick, fast and in a hurry” is the best and only way to do things. We carelessly use our words to put all the focus on ourselves, no regard for other people. We say phrases like, “I love you,” “how are you doing?” and “I’m sorry” out of routine and not out of sincerity.

We lack understanding of the basic concepts and theme throughout the Bible, and are passing down sayings and phrase as if they are Biblical truths. Not one time, have we stopped to think about or consider if these things are true. Our personal lives have become our spiritual lives, and this is a wreck less and dangerous thing to do.

It is time for us to stop and listen to what is being said. We no longer take the time to talk things out; we no longer want to listen to others, to grow and to become better; we no longer have family devotions; we no longer communicate. This has caused us to become prisoners of our minds. In the process, we have hurt family and friends. Our words, or lack thereof, have hurt the ones we love the most. Some families- to this day- still don’t speak to one another because of it.

You now know that cliches do more damage than good. The question is what are you going to do about it? Don’t you think it is time to seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness? Humble yourself before the Throne of God, ask Him to help you, to give you wisdom, knowledge and understanding. Ask Jesus to give you a new mind, with a new heart so the healing process can begin. As long as you stay in your mind, your ways, your thoughts, and your opinions, Satan has you in the shackles of your mind. Freedom is found in the name of Jesus. He came to set captives free. The question is will you allow Christ to free you? Will you allow Him to give you understanding, and the newness of life that is only found in Him?

SoulMate Search

I am looking forward to broadcasting live on Valentine’s Day although I know many of you may be out celebrating with your Sweetie. That being said there are plenty of others out there that are still looking for Mr. or Ms. Right. You may be familiar with the word “soulmate” and I personally think it is one of those overused words and ideas. What is a soulmate exactly? Most people tend to think it is the one right person that comes into our lives and makes our hearts leap and toes curl. There can also be the miss guided notion that each one of us has only one soulmate. In my opinion there are all different types of soulmates and they could be friends, ex’s and even people we feel have done us wrong. They come into our lives to teach us something, the good, the bad and sometimes the ugly. So when I am doing a reading for someone and they ask me “When am I going to meet my soulmate?”  I ask some questions to get clarity on exactly what they are looking for. I often find that they are looking for someone to share their lives with in a meaningful way and this is a good reason. Where things get off track is if their expectations are such that they expect this person coming in to be like a combination of Superman and the Dali Lama rolled into one who is going to fix all the problems of their life and create a happily ever after scenario. Gently I guide them to the idea that it may be a good time to fix and fulfill some of their own desires and look for someone who will balance things out.

Another falsehood I have pointed out is that there is not one perfect person for each of us. There are many, each with strengths and weaknesses that will blend well with ours to create a relationship that is a give and take on both sides. If the love of your life has left that does not mean that there is not another one out there that may not be the same but will be just as good.

One of the things I recommend is to do a vision board of what you would like in a perfect match. You can use physical appearance but also I suggest using emotional and mental traits you would like to see as well such as kindness, compassion and generosity. Take your time with this. Set the intention and then wait for the magic to happen. I have heard many positive stories of this method working.

Join me, Susan Dintino on Tuesday, February 14th on The Night Shift at 7:00 PM Eastern and I will be doing romance readings throughout the show. We will talk soulmates and give some pointers on how to find him or her.

 

ALTERNATIVE RESPONSES TO ANGER

Life doesn’t always turn out the way we’d like. When situations take an unfavorable turn, we become upset, frustrated, or angry. When others don’t agree with us, live their life the way we think they should, or act in a manner we find disturbing, anger is a typical response. With the exception a few extreme circumstance, an angry reaction rarely improves the situation or endears us to the other party.
For the most part, humans have very strong opinions about how life should be, how others should behave, and about what circumstances should occur and how they should eventually conclude. We expect a certain outcome that aligns with our beliefs or with the efforts we put forth. When situations don’t progress or end according to our plans we experience angst as to how the outcome will affect us and/or those we care about. For example, the recent presidential election has a portion of the country frightened and angry about what the future holds with our new president. Unpredictable weather on our wedding day causes concern for the overall success and enjoyment of our special day.

In another regard, we are quick to complain when an individual is not behaving way we want them to or the way we think they should be. This anger evolves when we label and judge people based on our criteria of what we believe to be right regarding their attitudes, beliefs, behaviors, life-style choices, etc. A harsh assessment of the other party leads to harsh feelings as well. (Thoughts create feelings.)
When anger arises in these areas it’s an indication that frustration or fear is lurking beneath: frustration that we cannot control our circumstances and fear as to how that situation will impact us and those around us.

Anger also arises from hurt: if someone criticizes the way we look we may take personal offense. Their perceived cruelty and lack of regard for our feelings is disconcerting. We feel disrespected and our natural defenses take over, fueling the need to correct them, put them in their place or retaliate with an even more hurtful comment teaching them that we will not tolerate their ill-mannered behaviors.
In each of the above examples, anger gives us the momentary feeling of power in a situation where we feel we have lost authority. However, any person or situation that can cause us to react in a manner not beneficial to us actually has more clout that we do. Thoughtful consideration of what feelings and reply are most advantageous actually restores our authentic power.

Consider the following alternatives to anger:

Compassion: a compassionate response can be the perfect solution to anger. Compassion consists of both understanding and empathy. We can view the individual whose behavior we find unacceptable from a place of understanding. Each person has a right to live life according to their beliefs, dreams, needs, etc. If someone is struggling or acting inappropriately, rather than becoming irate because they are not living up to my ideals, I can remove the “shoulds” (unspoken expectations) and in my heart grant them permission to have the experience they are engaging in, knowing that it is a necessary part of their life’s journey. If they are struggling, lost, or in pain, I can choose to feel compassion or sadness for their suffering, hoping that they soon pass through their current challenge to a more joyful place. Being patient and always treating them with kindness (which may include setting some reasonable boundaries) during this time are all components of being compassionate. Choosing this alternative response softens one’s heart and prevents anger from manifesting.

Humor* is another powerful tool for diffusing anger. We take life far too seriously. We take personal offense to what others are saying or doing rather than remaining emotionally detached. After all, their behavior is a reflection of their internal environment and has nothing at all to do with me. We become agitated when things don’t go according to our plans yet in reality a life that conforms precisely to our dictates teaches us nothing. We worry and obsess over that which we have no control over or that which in reality is relatively unimportant. (Ten year rule: will this matter in ten years? Will I even remember it? If not, then it’s not important now.) Humor puts any serious situation into its proper perspective. It diffuses fear and angst; it acts as a protective barrier to emotional pain as we recognize that what is transpiring has nothing at all to do with me; and it makes light of that which in reality has no significant value.

So when others behave badly, find it in your heart to forgive them for their indiscretions rather that judge them. When life hands you the exact opposite of what you requested, make light of it. After all, this life is only temporary so why get so bend out of shape when it doesn’t conform to your ideals? Rain on your wedding day? Break out the umbrellas and boots and dance in the puddles!

*Just a note of caution: humor is not intended to be directed at the other party. One can find humor in the situation or make light of their own reaction or behavior. Humor must never direct it at the other person. To do so is disrespectful and may very well make the situation far worse than it is.

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